Love Hate War Peace

LOVE HATE 

WAR PEACE

If you have ever been backstage at Big Idea, this has been etched on the wall....when working on KJ, the director (Scott Divine) pounded a version of this  into our psyche from day 1.....


love - hate - live - die


these are the choices that the Smiths and Joe Cooper had ....no more no less....


It seems surreal that we left the majority of the Smiths laying dead and dying and Dottie giving her final declaration last night after wanting to do this show for 3 years....for as a semi-sensitive guy that I am...I made it through the closing night pretty well.... 

Shannon Mahoney (Sharla) and I had a few final moments as our characters...feeding me parts of our back story every night to get Ansel fired up to confront his son....she was masterful at it...taunting Ansel - pestering him - warning him....every night she was a champ..

Dear sweet, Kat Wolinski.... one of the scenes I had internal struggles with was with Kat...throttling and subjecting his daughter so that a stranger may use her for his wants.....every night when Ansel exited - I would make sure she was ok....

it was clear...her and Shannon have the biggest fucking balls in this cast or of any cast in any show Sacramento has seen...hands down...wanna challenge me on it?? Bring it...the hell that those 2 women/characters go through is like none other has had to endure ...and every night they gave 120% and were ready for more!

Rick Eldridge - our Will Farrell - Joe Cooper....fucking intimidation in a 6'5" package...and backstage...every much the gentleman that Joe was (without the sadistic fuck-ness in him)

Justin Munoz - holy shit...want a fight to look the most real ever? want someone to throw themselves into the abyss of darkness? Justin's your man...68% anyway.....

our director....Mr. Divine and I had many MANY emails and face to face conversations as to who Ansel is and would be .... a few times I thought he was out of his ever lovin' mind.....but he pulled shit outta me that I didn't know what deep down in there...for such an alpha male as I like to think I am...pulling out the cowardice, emasculated, dullard that Ansel is was more of a chore than one would think.....(side note - big thanks to David Fox for dealing with all this like a pro and champ....friggin RTE boy....lol)

I digress...I began by telling you about closing.....I was fine...great...felt good about the performance.....but at curtain call...we normally bow, then exit....as I began to exit, I looked at Justin and he said 'let's do one more'.....and then my tear started to fall....the whole sold out crowd rose to its feet and with that....it was over....

I am sure I will have some after thoughts in the next week or so...but I wanted to write this while fresh in my mind....I loved seeing this on the wall every night...it truly is that simple most times.....


Thanks to everyone who came out to see this production and support the theater. Thanks to those of you who lived, loved, related to and had their stomach turned....we loved all of you (well, maybe except the one patron with cell phone that lit up at the suckiest of times.....)


and for those who didn't.........

Opening Weekend of Killer Joe!

We are up and running....the crowds have been amazing! The feed back is electric!! If you have seen it - please feel free to send me your feedback....The picture enclosed is what Ansel sees. The director gave me a great note that still resonates with me. "Ansel is not Wade, Wade is not Ansel"....it moved me so much I have it posted on my cube at work. I will post a picture of that too some time.... you really have to take yourself out of who you are and into who these people in this story are...you can't do it as you. It just won't work. In finding these characters, it has charged this show to the 'N'th degree. W

We are almost done blocking the show! The intensity of our characters combined with the madness of the show is mind blowing! One of my highlights so far has been when the actor that plays Killer Joe, wrote and shared with us what he feels is his character’s biography; an extensive and in-depth 3-4 page biopic that really made that character THAT much more real. This show will take a physical and mental toll on the cast – and perhaps even you the audience member. Buckle up – there's a storm coming this Spring!!

There was an electrified bit of irony as I pulled into the parking lot at Big Idea Theatre and ‘Feels Like The First Time’ by Foreigner came on the radio. It was feeling like the first time. I finished my last show around November of 2011. It was a welcome end. I had been doing shows solid since May or June or so. The break was definitely needed. I needed to reboot my system. It was a great run of shows and I made some great friendships and rebuilt old ones ‘…it feels like the first time…’ I took out the script and began looking and breathing in my lines. I had read it countless times before. With each reading, the wave of reactions always felt fresh. There was a sense of calm before the storm when reading the lines ‘…I have waited a lifetime, spent my time so foolishly …’ The sense of opening the door on a character like Ansel…allowing him to come to life and interact with the others, feels like everything I have done to this point was in preparation for this one character. It is sure to be a wild ride... W

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Killer Joe 2/15/12

KILLER JOE 

BY TRACY LETTS

DIRECTED BY SCOTT DIVINE*

OPENING FRIDAY, APRIL 13, 2012

The Smith family gets more than it bargained for when it hires full-time cop, part-time killer, Joe Cooper, to knock off a not-so-beloved family member for her insurance money. Alluringly offensive and uncompromisingly violent, this slice of white-trash Texas noir hits the funny bone as it goes for the jugular!

...and so it begins...script in hand, I am fully immersing myself into the role of Ansel.
I have created a playlist to have going while running lines or just thinking of this incredible show coming up...I am going to post frequently (*i.e. as much as I can) on the process this show takes from table read to final curtain.....

Life Changes....

About 23 years ago, I met a gal while working at the restaurant in the hotel in Yankton, South Dakota. Meeting Dawn was like a circus and a carnival rolled into one and multiplied by 1000 - but that's a whole other story. We were, for lack of anything more clinical, in a relationship. I remember her as being such a wild and free spirit. It was in stark contrast to some of the other gals I had been in relationships with up till then. We eventually moved to Lincoln Nebraska on a wish and a prayer. Through different obstacles, I decided leaving would be in my best interest for various reasons.

Fast forward to about 10 or so years ago. I just moved to California, just got a new job, and working on my new relationship with Ashley. My dad called and told me someone was looking for my number and should I give it to them and naturally I said sure. It was Dawn's mother. She said that Dawn had passed away and she had left behind a daughter. I went into panic mode. I wasn't ready for this and went on the defensive. "if you want to know so bad you come out to California and get a paternity test - otherwise to hell with you!"

I never heard from them again.....Until November 2nd of this year.

In my facebook email was a message "Hi, I'm not really sure how to say this, but I think you are my father. My mother was Dawn S. I'm not trying to get money or ruin your life or anything like that. I would just like to find my father. I know this is weird and all. I'm not really sure what else to say, but I hope to talk to you soon " (truncated but you get the point)

I would be amiss if I didn't add that from that first call I got 10 or so years ago, there had been many times I was on Google trying to find out any information I could - which turned out to be nothing. I had little information to go on.

I called her that night - it was the night before my LASIK surgery. Needless to say that the term 'seeing my future clearer' took on a whole other meaning.

I went to Walgreen's and got an over the counter DNA/Paternity test kit. I understand that sounds strange but I did  quite a bit of research ahead of time. I swabbed, sent Shawna her swabs to send in and that was that. The lab notified me that we should have the results on Monday (today).

This will definitely be a huge change in my life, Ashley’s life, and Shawna’s life if the results come back 'positive'. I will have a daughter....and 3 grand kids. It is surreal for me right now. There is a certain selfish side of me that really wants this to be true. It will mean the world to me to try to make up for lost time. To have someone I can pass my life experiences down to and hopefully for someone to look up to me in that special way - even though so much time has passed.

In my talking with her, she seems very level headed and independent...and that...makes me happy. She doesn't come off as bitter or sad about the situation of not knowing her biological father although she would be very much in her right to feel that way. I was a jerk back then. I didn't man up and find out then. I have apologized over and over to her about this and she understands and forgave me. This is all on the heels of if the results come back as 'positive'.

If it comes back 'negative' - well, I will have a new close bond with a very special woman. I will be more than ready to give her any insight or a shoulder or wisdom or recollection of her mother.

Thanks in advance for your support and well wishes during this time.

W


UPDATE (1/9/12)
Well the results came back negative. The thing about that is, we did a little research and found out this company may not be the most reliable.
Since she has been waiting so long to know - the least I can do at this point is check with my doctor to see how we can facilitate a test from where she is and where I am.
We both kind of wanted this to be positive for kind of the same reasons - her wanting to know who her father was and my wanting to have a daughter.....
Whatever the turn out - I will always be there as much as I can for her since I was one of the last (known) people with her birth mother.
Again - thanks for everyone's support. Some of you knew this before because I needed to be able to vent and I just wanted to have a sounding board(s). But thank you ALL for your friendship....

So I am about 9 days away from getting LASIK surgery on my eyes. I cannot wait! I am very excited about this. The whole process has been amazing too!

The idea of being able to CHOOSE sunglasses is something that I am really looking forward too. Why you may ask? Because I have had the same prescription sunglasses for the last 10 years….yes, dear reader, TEN YEARS. When you spend that much on glasses, one tends to hang on to em. They have gone many places with me – cruises, many flights, and Canada.

I would LIKE to think I am going to post some video leading up to the event…but things are kind of busy lately.

Stay tuned, more to come!

W

Eye C U

I have been so unhappy about having to wear my glasses the last few years. When Ashley told me that I had a good chunk in my FSA account from my last job, I was kind of stoked...ok, so I was REALLY stoked. That money along with the contribution from my present employer, it came up to a number that made me think that this was a definite possibility.

Ashley and I went for my first round of tests/exams before I get my surgery date for LASIK. It was the typical. Although, even at the time of writing this, my eyes are so dilated and tired I can't see very well.

Stay tuned...more updated as this goes on...I'm even thinking some video may be a possibility

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA IS HERE!

What a great opening weekend! If you were one of the audience members this weekend thank you so much! You solidified in us that we have a fun and entertaining show for Sacramento!

My boy, my boy.....
For those of you who don't know - this is Cabo....he is AMAZING........a great companion....

this is one of his favorite places - looking out over the neighborhood.........

that's all really...nothing more to say.......for now....

The Phantom of the Opera....

The website is up and info about the show is posted HERE

Rehearsals have been very productive and fun....hope you come out and see the show!

a rare negative posting....

..between the self stroking and the belittling of others it's been a banner day on the FB pages....if you can't say anything nice....maybe just shut it down and tend to your own backyard

how some people have the audacity to be who they are....backstabbers...belittling others...making others feel bad for who they are....it's aggrevating!

and the problem is; this is someone many people know and very few know the real person they are......

I hate negativity...especially after being on an incredible vacation like I just had.....

might be time to do some SERIOUS soul searching............

2nd Annual Soggy Doggy Swim Day | | City iLights

2nd Annual Soggy Doggy Swim Day | | City iLights:

'via Blog this'

Grateful Dog Daycare:

Grateful Dog Daycare:

4th of July Weekend!

ahh...what a great time of the year! I remember July 4th's of the past living by the lake in Yankton, South Dakota.

Where I lived, REAL fireworks were legal....you know, the ones that go BOOM!!

You haven't truely lived till you had a little firecracker explode in your hand...(yes I am being sarcastic)

Throwing bottle rockets is another activity that takes a true skill. you have to wait till that fuse just BARELY is within the entry of the fuselage then you gotta rip that thing into the air and hope the trajectory is going AWAY from you (preferably UP)....

It also reminds me of the yearly event 'The White Whale' party and extravaganza at the lake...I can remember 100's if not 1000's of people trekking down to the lake straight from where we lived. It was a dirt and grass road that was very heavily travelled...there was incredible amounts of alcohol as well as watermelons infused with booze......and I can also remember the beautiful members of the opposite sex....(p.s. it was called White Whale because of the tendency for some to get in the water, take off their swimming bottoms

it was a great few summers back then.....It was always an adventure to ride my bike down to the campground to see if there were any new girls to potentially have fun with.....sure it was just a short time thing, but there were a few that were definitely memorable and helped shape the kind of well-adjusted, worldly guy I turned into today!

A Chapter is Closing...Another Opening

Tomorrow finds the closing of a chapter in the book of my life; the show I'm in, Dearly Departed at Chautaqua will come to a close. It was an interesting run. It all started when I found myself unemployed and needing to get out of the house from going stir crazy. I auditioned and I felt good about how I read the part of Ray Bud -- the eldest son of the family patriarch who passes away. When talking to the director about a week later, he all but said that there was nobody he could pair me up with and thus I was pretty dejected. About 3-4 days later he texts me and says in so many words that if I am still interested he would like to offer me the role.

And now the stage has been struck...the audience gone.......

The new chapter begins.....

Ahhh Sundays....

What an incredible weekend of shows Dearly Departed had!! Sold out or close to sold out shows .... Everyone was so amazing ... We even had a cast member's sister in Sacramento from Maryland! That's a long way to come see our little show that could!
One weekend left! Don't miss this one!!

The Neighborhood Watchdog!

Great pic from last weekend vineyard getaway

Full Monty Throwback!

From The Full Monty

What's New

Wow! What an amazing weekend. The shows went really well and were incredibly well-recieved! Even with a few hiccups that only we would know about, we finally got this lil show that could off the ground!

The next project came like a tidal wave - - Shawn O'Neal is directing Social Security right after DD closes....and I am cast in THAT (with a pretty significant part if I can toot my own horn a bit!)

Just downloaded 'Words with Friends' for my Ipad....I've never been a huge word-gamer, but you can play at your own pace which works for me....

Today is my friend Greg's birthday and it looks like we will be traversing to Ruth Chris.....a new adventure! BEEF, here I come!

TWSS

W

A View From Backstage @ Dearly Departed

Nikki Sixx's new book on the iPad!

Playing drums on Can't Drive 55

Sammy Hagar fan meeting in San Fran
Epic fail on the chick's vocals but was a fun song to drum on.

Check out this video on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERVUr34b5H0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

"A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A doughnut with no holes, is a danish." ~ Ty Webb

Grateful Dog Daycare:

Grateful Dog Daycare:

Testing blogging from texting.

Mash up - Gwen Steffani & Heart

check this out!

Some Girl(s) promo

This is the show I am directing! We open next month....
hope you all can try to make it......

Some Girls Promo 1
http://gallery.me.com/lucasimages/100087

Enjoy the movie!